About a year ago, I was struck by an article in which American journalist Ann Friedman asked us to ponder: “Why do we treat PR like a Pink Ghetto?” Her point was to underscore the lack of seriousness placed on the public relations profession (namely, agencies) that is made up mostly of women (different sources cite ranges anywhere from 63% – 85%), with the exception of upper management, which is 80% male.
The immediate disparity is the divide between the vast majority of female PR workers and their male bosses. And, while this is an important topic, this story has been told many times before.
The disparity that has received less ink to date, but is equally interesting, is the other great divide in PR that comes in many shades of pink: married women with kids, single mothers and single women. While tackling this topic could risk making me slightly less popular amongst all three groups, it is also a real, feminist and sexist issue – except that it is one perpetuated by women. And, it requires all of us in PR to examine it with honesty and empathy.
Admittedly, my desire to bring this topic to life started from a personal place first, and something I wrestled with even bringing up for fear of being on the receiving end of the very issue I am flagging.
This year, I have been interviewing very senior candidates for roles at Veritas. For context, we are an agency of about 65 in Toronto and Montreal and about 85% female. I have worked in agency public relations for 18 years in Canada, the U.S., Europe and Asia, and I have had the benefit of incredible male and female mentors, leaders and partners – most with kids and some without – who have been the biggest promoters and supporters of my ideas, my fire and my creative freedom.
So as I started this talent journey to fill two very senior roles at the firm – a right hand to me and our creative team, and another senior client service person to oversee the VPs and bring deeper bench strength to our clients – I wasn’t prepared for how thick my skin needed to be.
Some of the feedback “on the street” is that I am a single woman, with no children, has standards that are unattainable, doesn’t like mothers, I rarely hire men and basically have horns coming out of my head (okay, I added that last one for hyperbole’s sake).
Now, anyone in a position of power knows you are also signing up for scrutiny and criticism. And having worked in PR, I know better than most that perception is not always reality, but you need to take pause and give it consideration regardless. I also know mentioning these rather unflattering depictions of me means potentially flaming something that isn’t even on the radar of most and impacting my reputation. And I can’t dispute some of it – I am single, unmarried and do have high standards.
But what is astonishing to me is the fact most of this blowback is coming from mothers in the industry. Without knowing me at all, several – it seems – have formed an opinion of who I am and my leadership style based solely on my lack of children.
Which leads me to look outside myself and ask us all in PR this: What are mothers in this industry facing/missing as support that they feel they need to worry about working at agencies where non-mothers exert as much or more power? The reality is most PR agencies aren’t just made up of women, they’re also made up of single women.
How can we as an industry do a better job of helping mothers find a home at PR agencies without bias against their single female counterparts?
It also prompts me to question why discrimination against single, childless women in our profession is often that dirty little secret no one wants to address, for fear of being politically incorrect.
Just as often as I worry about the mothers on my team finding balance, I am confronted by a peer, client or employee who is unmarried and without kids questioning why mothers are able to leave in the middle of deadline or take regular vacations. And more than ever, I have even heard this seep into conversations as it relates to dads at PR agencies who are doing the same.
Childless PR women are often taking care of their parents, siblings, friends and covering for others who need to leave to make their child’s play at school, but rather than confronting mothers in a productive way about how to be better co-pilots, they often find safety in numbers behind the scenes, expressing dissatisfaction in the background (or the ladies’ bathroom).
What we need to recognize urgently is that our commonalities as women in PR are what unite us: we all love the art of storytelling and we all want to come to work every day and do a great job.
In order to narrow the great divide between working women and working mothers, we must come from a place of honesty and courage to find a voice. If we don’t address what we really need, how can we expect to change perceptions and realities – for our clients, for brands and for our profession? We work in a business of shaping perception. We have the ability to suss out the truth and base our opinions on fact, not fiction. I am optimistic that even this one little article in the big scheme of things will help us come a step closer to igniting a positive conversation.
And for the mothers in the industry who feel they know me, I will leave you with a few facts:
I love working with men, and I’m proud to be surrounded by the best in the business. Some of these men are also very hands-on super dads. We should encourage more men to join this profession.
I don’t understand what it is like to be a mother, but I really do try. Last year, I added covering the cost of fertility medications to our drug plan. I also provide top-up on a case-by-case basis to senior executives on mat leave.
I was part of a precedent-setting class action lawsuit in the U.S. that was initiated by working mothers. My initial inclination as a former colleague who could help verify some of what they were experiencing was to “stay away” from it altogether, or risk career suicide. After thoughtful consideration, I provided my deposition in support of these mothers’ claims. This class action was just settled over the last month.
I believe childless women (and men) in our industry should also be uniquely supported by their employers, and I am working on ideas to reinvent how we assist and inspire these women in the same way I am trying to do for mothers.
Frankly, the ultimate goal – gender aside – is to demand a flexible work environment that doesn’t stigmatize, period.
